Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Tangelo Stallion

Lo, gallant stone, I
Tell a gal to sin on
A goon’s ill talent.
A gent, lain lost. Lo!

An agent ill, loots.
Alone, stalling to
Listen. Go on, a tall,
Tall elation song.

O! An angel’s ill tot,
No legs; all on a tit.
No little gals on a
Tangelo stallion.

All gents toil on a
Gale lost, lain not
Slain, not legal to
Tell it on a slogan.

On a little slogan,
I lost all on a gent,
Into legal talons
Not on a legal list.

In all, get lost on a
Tangelo stallion
To let all sing on a
Long-last elation.

I stall on tangelo
Tangelo stallion
Slain nag too. Tell
All—ten slain! Go to

Gloat, all in stone.
Align no stale lot.
Alone, sin got tall,
Along tall stone, I

Got all silent on a
Stone gal, ill to an
Angel, a tot son—ill!
Lo! All-stone giant

Still to no glean, a
Gallant oilstone,
All lit onstage, on
A signal to tell on.

Angel, it’s on all to
Align solo talent
Ain’t along to sell
A tall silent goon.

Alas, no telling, to
Let slang toil on a
Last legal notion—
Tell it on a slogan!

I, along tall stone,
Alone, angst I toll,
In all, get lost on a
Legal nation lost

To let all sing on a
Long-last elation.
In all, get lost on a
Tangelo stallion.

Alas, no ill gotten
Long salt elation
Lo! All nations get
A glint lost alone.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Piss-Shit Water

Feces floatin’
in a porcelain bowl
of beer-yellow urine,
“Git chur ass ov’r here!
Ya little chickenshit! I’ll give ya shit!”

Whiskey-tainted piss-shit water
Flushin’ away six-year-old tears,

stinkin’ in my nostrils
forcin’ me to fight,
encouragin’ me to lie,
wakin’ me from sleep,
scarin’ me into survival.

Pruno-tainted piss-shit water
remindin’ my cellie he’s my bitch

Feces floatin’
in a stainless steel bowl
of beer-yellow urine,
whiskey-tainted piss-shit water
still with me after thirty years.

Monday, January 10, 2005

To Virginia

I lost you once,
and I lost you twice, then
I lost you thrice

stolen in secrecy
a decade before
you would weep
your thief
dead
before discovery

unaware
you were gone
you were
resurrected

snatched away violently
weeks before
you were legal

thieves
abscond
into dark anonymity

your absence
denied
you were
resurrected

given
instantly
to the first bidder
the recipient
not fit for
your worth

your absence
acknowledged
your were
not resurrected

like the son
you were
sacrificed
for the sins

of the mother’s drunken father
of the two drunken men in the red truck
of the
hopeless
drunken
girl

I lost you once,
and I lost you twice, then
I lost you thrice.

Sunday, January 9, 2005

The Liquor Store: a sestina

One night I stopped to buy some smokes. Into
the liquor store I walked. Many people
were inside, some in search of bad habits;
our vices bring most of us here. A woman
in front of me was buying smokes—two types;
she bought beer too. I looked over at her.

She was clean and well groomed. She reached in her
purse, took out her card, put her PIN into
the machine. Plastic has different types.
Some people have bank cards, and some people
credit. An EBT card this woman
used—welfare! To support her habits?

I felt my body tense up. My habits
aren’t paid by the government. I watched her
and felt a deep disgust for this woman.
I wanted to curse her. I delved into
my mind to ask why we allow people
to use aid to purchase things of these types.

I began to think of different types
of people. Each of us has our habits.
I don’t know all the obstacles people
face. Then I pondered the “what-ifs.” Was her
story one I could understand? “Try to
put yourself in the life of this woman.”

Did her man say, “Go to the store, woman,
and buy me some beer and smokes—get two types.”
Did he make a threat to beat her into
oblivion—again? Are his habits
supported by Her fear of him? Is her
life spent taking care of other people?

Her life intrigued me. She treated people
with respect. She was pleasant, this woman
who I wanted to curse. Now I saw her
differently—just one of many types
of people, all with various habits
and whose lives I will never get into.

In the store are people of many types,
and I found this woman may have habits,
but I can’t judge her or what she’s into.

Friday, January 7, 2005

Little Bird

I found a little bird with broken wings,
so emaciated from starvation.
There’s no voice for songs, just a sound that stings.
His scared, child-like eyes can’t see salvation.

Cold and trembling, sure that harm is to come,
his beak and talons are just as a hawk’s
Angry about what his life has become,
if I try to help, he scratches and squawks.

So, he lacks the skills of civilized cultures.
Some would say he’s just a barbarian.
He’s a dove, been raised by vultures,
and fed just bits of diseased carrion.

I see his chance for recovery’s slim,
so I put him back where once I found him.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Dorothy Wordsworth’s Dear Diaries

Dorothy Wordsworth, or “Dot” as I like to call her due to her endearing relationship with her brother William Wordsworth, wrote poetry, but is best knows for her Grasmere Journals. Pamela Woof writes in regard to Dorothy Wordsworth’s journals that, “she was no fiction writer plotting other worlds, but her own world is brought before us, satisfyingly historical and satisfyingly imaginative” (157). Coleridge is quoted in Woof as describing Dot as “’watchful in minutest observations of nature’” (159). Woof further notes that “domestic events, everyday images, steady the transcendent in Dorothy’s writing, and the momentary escapes give buoyancy to the domestic” (163). The excerpts from Dot’s Grasmere Journals and her poetry lend themselves to the descriptions of both Woof and Coleridge’s observations that Dot possessed an ability to observe details in nature and everyday life that many people overlook.

Dot is incredibly descriptive in her writings of both manure and the goings on around her. In her journal entry from September 3, 1800, she beings by telling how her day started, then saying, “I ironed till half past three, now very hot. I then went to a funeral…” (433). She describes the number of people in attendance at the funeral and that the deceased was “buried by the parish; the coffin was neatly lettered and painted black and covered with decent cloth” (433). In that same entry, she describes the “green fields, neighbors of the churchyard, were green as possible, and with the brightness of the sunshine, looked quite gay” (433). She finished the entry with, I did not finish ironing till 7 o’clock.[…] William and John came home at 10 o’clock” (433). This entry alone is an excellent example of Dot’s attention to detail, attention to the natural world and her ability to document the world around her and her domesticity. She draws the reader into her moment in time.

Probably one of Dot’s most famous journal entries, and the inspiration for her brother William’s poem, “Daffodils,” is her entry from April 15, 1802. In this entry, she literally “paints” a portrait of the “woods beyond Gowbarrow Park,” when she describes the daffodils as:

[A] long belt of them along the shore…[…] They grew among the mossy stones…some rested their heads upon these stones on a pillow for weariness, and the rest tossed and reeled and danced and seemed as if they verily laughed with the wind that blew upon them over the lake. They looked so gay—ever-glancing, ever changing. (434)

Dot records daily life, sometimes writing of the weather, what she and her brother did during the day, and the people they interacted with. When Dot writes of her interaction with nature, her writing seems to become more alive than at any other time. In her April 29, 1802, journal entry, she describes her and William laying in a trench, “listening to the waterfalls and birds…a sound of waters in the air, the voice of the air” (434-435). Later that day, she lay in the grass and “observed the glittering sliver line on the riders of the backs of sheep, owing to their situation respecting the sun…as if belonging to a more spending world” (435).

Her journals also provide historical information. Her October 4, 1802, entry records William’s marriage to Mary Hutchinson. Although Dot was probably not aware of the historical importance that this entry would one day provide, she again left us a moment in her time. The people that Dot encountered are also described. October 3, 1800, she describes meeting “an old man almost double” who “had a wife, ‘a good woman’” and whose “trade was to gather leeches, but now leeches are scarce, and he had not strength for it” (433). Not only does her entry describe “ordinary” people she met, but it also gives us, readers of the 21st Century, a glimpse into the life and practices of 19th Century England.

Yet, Dot’s poetry focuses more on nature, rather than domesticity or everyday life. In “Thoughts on my Sickbed,” and “When shall I tread your garden path,” Dot’s age, declining health, and memories of interacting with the natural world are apparent. In “Sickbed,” she writes, “I thought of nature’s loveliest scenes,/and with memory I was there” (51-52), while in “Garden Path,” she describes herself as “A prisoner on my pillowed couch,/Five years in feebleness I’ve lain—” (5-6).

The passion that Dot felt for nature, her love for it, and not only nature’s own life, but the life it gave her are evident in all aspects of her writing. Yet, it is her journals that not only record nature in its most minute of details but also serve as history records of her life, as well as the lives of everyone and everything around her, even documenting the time spent ironing in a day, that her passion for nature and detail is most apparent.

Works Cited
Woof, Pamela. “Dorothy Wordsworth, ‘Journal’.” A Companion to Romanticism. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1999. 157-168
-----. “From ‘The Grasmere Journals, Wednesday 3 September 1800’.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 433.
-----. “From ‘The Grasmere Journals, Friday 3 October 1800 (exract)’.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 433.
-----. “From ‘The Grasmere Journals, Thursday 15 April 1802’.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 434.
-----. “From ‘The Grasmere Journals, Thursday 29 April 1802’.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 434-435.
-----. “From ‘The Grasmere Journals, Thursday 4 October 1802’.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 435.
-----. “Thoughts on my Sickbed.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 439-440.
-----. “When shall I tread your garden path.” Romanticism: An Anthology with CD-Rom. Ed. Duncan Wu. Oxford: Blackwell, 1998. 440.

Saturday, September 4, 2004

The Visitor


You don’t love me. You don’t want to have sex with me. Your eyes lock with mine. Words spoken matter-of-factly. Elixirs of truth say differently. You love me. You hate me. Up. Down. Up. Down. Roller coaster zipping up and down, round and round. Topsy turvey. Motion sickness. Nausea rising.

You hate me because you love me. You don’t tell me this, but there are truths I know.

As we sit beneath the luminous full moon, you are at war with your demons, adrenaline pumping, hating me, because I don’t love you. Hating yourself, because I don’t love you. I am cold. You take my hands gently into yours, loving, caressing, warm. You fasten your gaze into mine. A roller coaster zips between us and grabs me for a ride. Woosh! I am sick again from the motion. Your demons have conquered you. Defeated and weak from your battle, you now battle me. What do you want from me? You want my love. You want my trust. You want my response. Response to a man’s touch. Your touch? But at that moment, you are not a man. Your demons have subjugated you, and all that stands before me is a hideous creature that wants to crush me and devour me, because I cannot be possessed.

Masculine. Macho. Masculinity dormant deep beneath the surface. Machismo reigning terror. Caveman macho. Gallant knight masculine. Tears well in your eyes. You ask me why I can’t see what is standing right in front of me, and you tell me one day I will realize what was before me all along. Love is coming. No, it’s already here. There, I said it, is what you tell me. This is the first time you say this without your elixirs of truth to prompt you. I am not deaf. I am not cold. I hear you.

Feeling safe. Talking. Crying. Running hot bath water, because I deserve it. I see what is standing before me.

Love is a brief visitor.

Waiting.

Waiting for you to love yourself.